Do you see too many preteens holding hands or texting their crush and wonder if they’re ready to date? You aren’t alone. That’s a very usual thing now. Dating customs have changed drastically since your days. It’s relatively hard to define a perfect age for dating. But there have to be some rules.
Dating is common. Everyone dates. So you can’t fight that if your son or daughter starts dating. But you have to set some rules for them to start dating. You should also try talking to your kid about dating.
For those seeking the answer to “what is the best age for dating”, we have an opinion here. We also have some factors you should guide your kid before they start dating. So let’s begin.
What is the Right Age for Dating?
Simply put, there’s no correct answer to that. It’s like, Barbara Greenberg (a clinical psychologist) once struggled to find the correct answer to that. She then realized there was no right age.
An NBC show conducted a segment discussing the right age for kids to date. The segment conducted a survey. According to that, 74% of parents agreed that the right age to start dating is 16, while 23% agreed that the dating age might start when the kid turns 14.
Moreover, the American Academy of Pediatrics found something different. They noted on average; girls start dating as early as 12 and a half years old, while boys are a year older. But their dating definition may differ from that how you define it.
So, What Does Dating Actually Mean?
The most common dating definition is when someone goes out with another person to bind in a romantic relationship. Parents also have the same version when they talk to their children about dating. However, the definition for your kid may differ a little.
Dating is when someone likes someone, wants to know them better, and goes out to have a casual discussion. Dating for kids may also mean going out in a group with friends along with that someone special.
One common thing in both definitions is going out with your crush.
So it doesn’t matter what version your child chooses to define dating. It has the same essence. And for that, you may have to place some ground rules or guidelines, especially if your preteen is going out on a date (group or solo).
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Setting Dating Rules for Your Kid
Be it 12, 14, or 16, your child will one day go on a date. There’s running from it. So why fight that, and why not set some rules that help your child make better decisions?
Here we have some dating rules to enforce so your child stays safe and happy.
- Don’t waste time. Dating someone is exciting. Your kid feels mature when on a date. But it doesn’t have to be JUST a feeling. Guide them to value their time and only date someone matching their personality as well as they think they can spend their life.
- Don’t do something abruptly. Boys sometimes try making bold steps. Guide them to wait till the right time. Jumping into the actual game may be a wrong decision they may regret later.
- Dress properly. Choose a decent dress for the kid, especially for your little girl. Too prompting dress may arouse romantic feelings. Ask the kid to avoid wearing loud makeup or fragrance.
- Meet the date. It isn’t bad or conservative to meet your child’s date. Better to meet the date a few days before the actual date. It will allow you to assume if the person is suitable for your kid and discuss whether they should go out or not. It will also allow you to restate dating rules for your child.
- Know where your child is going. Ask about your child’s eating plans – where they’re heading, how long they plan to stay out, etc. Some parents keep an eye on mobile apps. It may work for some kids, but not for all. Also, ensure your child has a mobile when going out and the battery is full.
- Enforce a curfew. Enforcing a curfew time shows that you’re protective of your child. Keep it moderate, not too short, nor too long. Estimate how much time it may take for the kids to reach that restaurant, get done with their dinner, and return home.
- Set ground rules. Prohibit your child from going to the date’s house in the early days while the date’s parents aren’t home. Set the same rule if your kid invites the date over to your place. Additionally, advise them to text if there has been a change in plans – but no abrupt or significant changes.
- Follow up after the date. Asking how the child’s date went is never wrong. You’re the PARENT and have every right to ask how your kid’s date went. Although, we don’t suggest enforcing to state how things went. Give space so they can speak as openly as you think.
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Allowing your young kid to go on a date is tough, especially when you’re overprotective. But since they’ll go out on a date sooner or later, you can’t stop them forever. Just ensure always to stay close to your kid. Guide them well so they avoid taking wrong decisions. The rules we defined above don’t have to go in a day. Always give good advice to your child and make them confident enough to make the right decisions.
